[Battle Report] Triple or Quits | 10th Edition | Crusade | Incursion | Interdimensional Clash | Necrons vs. Space Marines

 

 

This time, I want to approach the proceedings a little differently. Instead of the elegant product of the Narrative Forge, tempered and burnished by reflection, I want to look at the other end of the process: the clinkers and ore that Garbutt and I shovel into the damn thing when we're deciding what 'splodes shall be done, and by whom. This is a Crusade report, yes, but it's going to be about the Crusade rules, to indicate how we do this thing... and how the thing does us. I will be communicating with you in standard upright type...

And I, the learned opponent, will be talking at you in italics.  Von stole this format from something called a "Woffboot," apparently.

Hey, you double space when you type. You're old.

We know this.  You didn't have to mention it.

It started, on this occasion, with the Experience Points. I'm lagging behind somewhat in this department, since some of my units (Tomb Blades, Triarch Stalker, I'm looking at you) have been turning up purely to touch divots and die (and that's if they're lucky). Garbutt, meanwhile, is pulling ahead there but short on Honour due to our "small games, fewer Agendas" approach (also he won the first three games). We're allowing him to bank Honour across the whole Crusade rather than spending it when his Oaths are fulfilled like The Rules say, and when he has enough to promote Kaine to Chapter Master, something special will happen instead.

It's not like we have an entire future history of the Sworn planned out or anything.  It's not like yesterday we were discussing their situation 2,000 years further down the timeline.  No.  Not at all.

So, he wants Honour and a splash of XP, and I want a lot of XP; ideally, I'd like my good units to get even better. We came up with a combination of scenario, strategic footing and agendas that can award him 10 Honour if he wins, and me a potential 10 XP for three of my units in the right place at the right time if I win. He's defending, as per his current Oath; I'm attacking, but since the game is taking place at my place, I'm attacking my own Necron cityscape terrain.

The Narrative, fired off the back of this, is pretty straightforward: within the depths of the tomb-city, Kaine's Inquisitorial allies are investigating the lock to which Kaine has provided the key. Kaine's company have assembled at this key brownfield location in the suburbs of the necropolis to deter the pursuing Necrons from interfering. For their part, the Kavadah Dynasty just want the head of Phaerekh Tekeshi back before these idiots plug it into the sealed crypt and all hell breaks loose.

Let's take a moment to review the armies. After four games, they're getting quite complicated, and we need master lists of all their bells and whistles. My personal rule is that units get names when they're Blooded or receive their first Battle Scar, largely because they'll have done something to inspire a name by that point. Garbutt appears to be doing something similar, given that most of his Phobos stuff is new off the block.

Orders of Battle

The Sworn

Oath: Unflinching Bulwark.

Captain Talassar Kaine
  • Warlord; Master-crafted power weapon, relic shield, The Honour Vehement (+1 Strength and Attack; +2 in Assault Doctrine), The Halo Indomitus (4+ Invulnerable save, 4+ Feel No Pain)

Librarian Kathartes Aura
  • Fire Discipline (Sustained Hits for himself and his unit; Critical Hits on 5+ in Devastator Doctrine), Heroic Constitution (+1 Wound)

Lieutenant Mithrac Bors (Phobos Armour)

Apothecary Bastian Varric

Squad Merax: 10 Assault Intercessors
  • Power sword, plasma pistol; Battle-Scarred Resistance (6+ Feel No Pain)

Squad Orias: 10 Intercessors
  • 2 Astartes grenade launchers; Service Studs (+1 XP if they survive a battle)

Squad Hakael: 3 Aggressor

  • Auto boltstorm gauntlets, fragstorm grenade launcher, twin power fists; Aquila Imperialis (can be targeted with Stratagems even while Battle-Shocked, can reroll failed Out Of Action tests)
 
Squad Cadriel: Eradicator Squad 
  • Multi-melta; Battle-Scarred Resistance (6+ Feel No Pain)

Infiltrator Squad
  • Helix Gauntlet, Comms Array

Invictor Tactical Warsuit

  • [I have no idea which bits of this thing's absurd loadout are optional. Most of them contain the word "Ironhail."]

Foehammer: Stormtalon Gunship 

  • Weapon Modification (+1 S and AP on twin-linked assault cannon)

This is pretty much my standard 'small game' - hah!  (that will be funny later, trust me) list.  Although I've finally found a way to shoe-horn the Invictor back in and this makes me SO HAPPY because that thing is probably my favourite model.

We all have an Idiot Son we love anyway. Mine is the Triarch Stalker, which is why I own three of them.

You DO know about my vague plans to make Redemptors and Brutalis dreadnoughts out of converted Invictors, don't you?  I love my Try-Before-You-Die Dune Buggy Dreadnought.

 

 

Kavadah Acquisition Phalanx

Activated Systems: Astromantic Perception Portal (once per turn, one unit that deployed by Deep Strike can re-roll to hit), Resurrection Flux (+1 to Reanimation Protocols rolls for units below half strength)

Vargard Kophekh: Overlord
  • Warlord; Resurrection Orb & Voidscythe; Osteoclave Fulcrum (bearer and unit may Deep Strike); Martial Apotheosis (may reroll one 1 to hit and one 1 to wound)

Teznet, the Loyal: Royal Warden

Azhad, the Ascended: Technomancer
  • Weapon Modification (+1 WS/BS and Damage on Staff of Light)

Hands of Infinite Service: 10 Immortals
  • Gauss blasters; Undying Revenants (+1 to Reanimation Protocols rolls)

Cohort of the Cold Dawn: 20 Necron Warriors
  • Gauss flayers; Engrammatic Imprinting (+1 to hit rolls while within 6" of a character)

3 Canoptek Scarab Swarms

Monolith 

  • 4x Gauss flux arc

The Reaper's Redoubt: 6 Skorpekh Destroyers
  • 2 Plasmacytes; Mindless Reaper (reroll to hit, but suffer -1 Ld and OC); United by Adversity (may use Heroic Intervention for free)

3 Tomb Blades (75 points)
  • Shadowlooms, shieldvanes, twin tesla carbines

I won't lie, the selection process here was "what is close to levelling up, or has already levelled up and could level up again." Which happened to include the Monolith. Beloved Monolith.

I hate that thing.

 

 

Scenario: Interdimensional Clash

 

Mission Objective: Grip On Reality. Per turn, score 5 VPs for controlling an objective, and 5 for controlling more than your opponent; each unit in the winners' army that holds an objective in the Defender's deployment zone gains 3 XP.

Astartes (Defender) Agendas: Drive Them Back! (if no more than two Necron units are in the Astartes' deployment zone at the game's end, gain 4 Honour), Defiance Unfurled (if the Astartes control the central objective at the game's end, gain 4 Honour) and Know No Fear! (Astartes units which did not fail a Battle-shock test during the game gain 1 XP; if they are below half strength, they gain 2).

 

Necron (Attacker) Agendas: Drive Home the Blade (at the game's end, up to three units near the Astartes' board edge gain 3XP), Relentless Expansion (the same thing, but if three units gain XP, activate a Translocation System).

 

Necron Crusade Blessing: High Strategy (start the game with 2 Command Points).

 

Strategic Footings: Necrons Aggress, Astartes Defend: the Astartes are the Defenders, and have Advantage, so the Necron deployment zone is pushed back six inches. 

 

 

The Plan (written before the game...)

Bully the hell out of Garbutt with the Monolith, because I know he's frightened of it. In a perfect world, I'll be going second, so I can use Rapid Ingress to slam it down somewhere at the end of his first movement phase and really discombobulate him. 

Yes, I am scared of the Monolith.  Damn thing is huge and the Big Necron Brick worries me. 

I may keep the Reapers in Strategic Reserve so I can volley them out of its portal and straight into combat with Dimensional Corridor; it'll depend on what the terrain is like and whether I'll need the portal to Hyperphase other stuff around. Kophekh and his Hands will Deep Strike wherever there's a gap and start hosing the nearest objective with Gauss fire. 

Meanwhile, Teznet, Azhad and the Cold Dawn hold the centre objective. If necessary, I'll sacrifice my Resurrection Flux to trigger their Reanimation Protocols twice in a turn; Resurrection systems are easy to turn back on.

I'd ask Garbutt what his plan was, but - as our pre-game handshake chat highlighted - he's much more a "turn up and see what happens based on the table" kind of gamer. An entirely on-the-hoof approach. I respect this, but it has its drawbacks, like deployment taking... its... sweet... time...

Von calls it me being a more reactive player.  They are being charitable.  Once a game actually starts I tend to veer between over thinking and just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

The Setup

I wanted my dude to feel like he had a fighting chance, so the system I came up with was to seed my deployment zone with the unpainted terrain, no-mans-land with a couple of big blocks but otherwise clear, and then afford unto him the cyber-relay: four corner ruins and four barricades, freshly primed, for him to configure according to his design.

I also wanted to make heavy use of Reserves, per the plan above, which meant Garbutt had to set up most of his own army at the start. When he said he didn't have a clue what to do with Captain Kaine and his associated Ass.Ints., I reminisced about my own "if I don't know what to do with a unit, I stick it in Strategic Reserve so I don't just get it killed" and he decided to do that. 

This caused an emotional roller-coaster for me over the course of the game.  After initially thinking Von had given me sage advice I spent all of turn one thinking this whole thing was a huge mistake and my big melee beat stick unit was going to be forced to spend the entire game sitting on the sidelines being ineffectual.  And then turn 3 rolled round and suddenly... well, you'll see.

My tactical advice is somewhat superior to my actual tactics. Again, turn three will roll around and... 

 

The rest of the Astartes set up in what had clearly once been a gatehouse, around a road leading deeper into the necropolis. I need to make some desert roads.

 

 First Battle Round

Garbutt took the first turn, declared Devastator Doctrine, and selected the Monolith as his Oath of Moment target. Once the Astartes were staged, I slammed Rapid Ingress on my Immortals, teleporting them down on his unscreened left flank, and Quantum Deflection on my Monolith to see if it could ride out eight hundred odd points of Astartes shooting at it with re-rolls on damn near everything.

 

It could. The Monolith endured on nine wounds, and Contra-Mortis Protocol took it back to sixteen (although I did lose my Awakened System bonuses as everything shut down to keep the 'lith mobile). On my turn, the Immortals zapped a wound off the Storm Talon; my Warriors took out an Aggressor with small arms fire; and the Monolith unloaded everything it has into the Eradicators, killing all three of them dead.

That was HORRIFYING.  Not only did the Doom Brick survive everything I threw at it, it promptly undid most of my hard work and then deleted my strongest anti-tank option to boot!  How the hell was I going to stop this thing now?

 

Second Battle Round

With the Immortals screening off their corner, Garbutt had to make a decision about where Kaine was coming on... a long decision... much thought... deep consideration... and then he didn't come on at all. I tole 'im, I said, if you don't know what to do with it, don't put it on the board, bugrit, bugrit...

Millennium hand and shrimp.  Von does actually talk like this.  At times you have to undertake something of a mental interplanetary journey to establish communications with the inhabitants of the Von Collective.

No Doctrines were selected, and an Oath of Moment was sworn against the Immortals. Once half of them had died to bolter and assault cannon fire, I pulled them out with Hyperphasic Recall, hiding them behind the Monolith and triggering the Resurrection Orb. They'd all be back by my next Movement phase. The surviving Aggressors charged my Monolith, punched a few wounds off it, and... did not get sucked into the portal straight away.

Again, the Necrons smugly negated my best efforts!  If there's one lesson Von's 'Crons keep teaching me, it's that you can't be halfhearted about attempts to kill Necrons.  Buuuut on the other hand, I forced them to get the hell off my lawn and go hide behind the Doom Brick.  Sometimes you don't need to kill things, you just need them to go play somewhere else.

One survived, on one wound. I curse that Aggressor. If I fell back from combat, I wouldn't be shooting with the Monolith, and insult to injury, his presence was screening out the middle of the board...

This was the moment where that Aggressor earned MVP for his squad.  Absolutely play of the game.  Someone do a snappy 20 second highlight reel of this.

At the time, this is what lost me the game, but in hindsight, I'm not sure the Monolith cares about nine inch trouble bubbles, and my Skorpekhs have access to Cosmic Precision and a free Heroic Intervention to do stuff on your turn. I could probably have brought them in somewhere relevant if I'd slowed down, read my rules properly, and taken advantage of the pre-measuring capacity. 

We all make mistakes, we're only human.  Well, I am.

I am dust.

 

Anyway: I moved the Immortals around to get a clear shot into the middle of the battlefield and redeployed my Warriors through Hyperphasing to bring them on just outside Garbutt's deployment zone. At which point, Captain Kaine, Apothecary Varric and their Assault Intercessors arrived via Rapid Ingress, threatening a charge into the centre.

I have to thank Von for pointing out to me that this was even possible!  I think up till now I had filed all the units popping up from unexpected board edges under the heading of 'Necron Bullshit' and suddenly realising that I COULD DO IT TOO was something of an epiphany.

At least the Monolith devoured the last Aggressor, while combined shooting from my infantry killed half the Tactical Intercessors.

That Aggressor died valiantly and had an effect on the game far out of proportion with what mere dice rolls would imply.  Not bad for a charge I declared more or less out of a sense that those power fists being my only real remaining option to lay some hate on the Monolith.

 

Third Battle Round

Assault Doctrine was declared, and the Oath was sworn against my Immortals. Oh dear.

In an attempt to distract Garbutt, I took advantage of a gap in his screen again, Rapid Ingressing my Skorpekh Destroyers behind his lines. This would prove to be unwise; everything except Kaine and the boys unloaded into them, leaving one intact on one wound, from which the Invictor Warsuit relieved it in close combat. 

Spoiler alert:  It worked.  I was distracted.

My Favourite Boy getting to do stuff.  I was so happy.

You did a victory lap of my living room and everything.

When Kaine charged the Immortals, Garbutt pulled every lever he had, in a catastrophic act of overkill; between Assault Doctrine, the Honour Vehement and Honour the Chapter, he was swinging at something like S8, A9, -3 AP, with Devastating Wounds and rerolls to hit. Oh, and Precision, because Garbutt also dropped Epic Duel. Although Kophekh survived that, saving a couple of non-Devastating wounds, he did not survive the boatload of chainsword attacks from the Intercessors at large. Neither did the Immortals.

Like I said before, if you want to actually permanently kill Necrons, you can't hold back.  My tiny brain had grasped the fact that this charge was critical and could potentially win me control of the centre of the board, an objective and 4 Honour.  I threw the Emperor's Kitchen Sink at those foul robots.

This is the sort of moment where I'd normally give up, but... no. No. I could still get this. I probably wasn't going to win the game - being denied my first turn's scoring by Advantage was adding up - but I could absolutely still pick up some XP.

The scoring situation came as something of a shock to me.  I keep assessing state-of-game by looking at the board.  And when I did that, my situation was DIRE.  But if you instead considered Victory Points... holy crap, am I winning?  How did that happen? 

This ties into something that I've noticed about tenth edition as a whole: it's often counter-intuitive to look at the board state at all, because this is a game where you can table your opponent and still lose on points because you haven't been doing activities involving divots at the right times.

Could you make that last bit sound less lewd?

"Could," yes. "Will," no.

My Scarabs nipped round the back to screen Kaine off the central objective and stop him piling into the Monolith as it advanced full pelt, as did the Warriors on the top flank and the Tomb Blades on the bottom. Shooting was a criss-cross affair: the Monolith killed the Infiltrators and wounded Bors with another full volley, the Tomb Blades took off a wounded Tactical Intercessor, and the Warriors ripped the Storm Talon out of the sky, with the killing blow going to Azhad the Technomancer. One grinding, Tank Shocky charge later, the Tactical Intercessors were dead and the Monolith was contesting Garbutt's central objective. I was still in the game...

Oh god, this is exactly what I feared from the Monolith - Von pushing it forward, dominating my deployment zone and with no Eradicators, Aggressors and the Stormraven shot down I had absolutely no ranged options left for combating the damn thing.  

You can almost hear the Ommmminous Hummmmm as it advances.

 

Fourth and Fifth Battle Rounds

There simply wasn't a great deal left on the board, at this stage. Kaine charged the Scarabs, cleared them off, then piled onto the central objective, asserting control and scoring Defiance Unfurled. My Warriors advanced to where the Stormraven had been, securing the top objective and scoring both Agendas, while the Tomb Blades killed Bors and swept onto the bottom objective, sadly not quite in good time - but hey, they survived a game for the first time ever. The Monolith continued its reign of terror, getting charged by the Invictor but remaining intact, unbracketed, and in full control of the central point.

A desperate charge from the Invictor to try and lay some pain on the Doom Brick with its power fist was basically my only chance at this point. Beyond that all I could attempt was the bucket-of-dice: a volley of pistol fire and charge from Kaine and his boys, I might only wound on 6s, but 50 attacks should do SOMETHING, right?  But Kaine and the Assault Marines were busy stomping on Scarabs and securing an objective, so the Invictor was left to itself...  

When all the dust had settled, we were looking at... 25 VPs to the Necrons, 35 to the Astartes!

I... won.  Someone please explain how this happened, and how I make it happen again??

 

Debrief

So damn close... I think if I'd been a bit more clever and attentive with Hyperphasing, maybe removing the Monolith and putting that in the back corner, maybe taking my time in the turn I thought the lone Aggressor had me stymied, I could have bagged at least a draw out of this one.

This was an arduous game, with a lot of talking through options. Garbutt is prone to overthinking at the best of times, and between a boatload of tactical options and the overwritten precision of the tenth edition rules, he spent most of this game in a state of analysis paralysis, with a lot of "read the rule... no, the whole rule... no, the whole rule... slowly..." involved. I'm not saying it didn't pay off for him, or that we didn't have a good time, but this game took five hours to play out. Actively participating in even 1250 points of Warhammer 40,000 (Tenth Edition) is exhausting, especially when neither participant has "the reps" to be confident in their application of "the rules."

Five hours... jeez.  Von and I are both naturally slow players, and our being friends for about two decades at this point does nothing to speed things up.  We are both prone to stopping play to discuss random things or just have a damn good moan about the state of the world.  

You communicate entirely in anecdotes, and I can't let a rule go by without a design diatribe. It's a known issue.

And yes, Analysis Paralysis is definitely a problem I suffer, especially with 10th ed.  For some reason I just can't seem to internalise the rules and have to CONSTANTLY stop to ask questions and check how things work.  The differences between Critical Hits, Lethal Hits, Devastating Wounds and Sustained Wounds remains an arcane mystery to me.

Evidence: Sustained Wounds are not a thing that exists. 

Dammit!

The thing is, it does all make sense if you plod through it step by step: here are Critical Hits, which trigger separate effects including Lethal and Sustained Hits. Devastating Wounds trigger on the Wound roll, that's why they're called Devastating WOUNDS. It's just that the level of precision-engineering in language that this takes is straight from the Uncanny Valley. Evidence: I go completely marble-mouthed when I try to explain a rule and am reduced to pointing at the app going "no, read it again, the whole thing, including the last sentence" - and I'm supposed to be some sort of professional adult educator.

The fact that you had to tell me to do that THREE TIMES before it finally clicked and I understood...

To be fair, though, we made a good game of it. Close, tense, highs and lows, with probably the best quality tactical play either of us has mustered to date. Constantly reality checking m'colleague to turn off his kill brain -

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD G -

NO! BAD! 

- and look at the points kept us both engaged; we both learned a few things about Rapid Ingress and what it's good for; and although I lost, I took a bigger chunk out of the Sworn than ever before. There was almost nothing left of the original defence force, and I still had most of my troops intact.

Thank GOD that games only run to five turns! If we had kept going it would just have been me watching the Monolith chase Marines round the board and hoover them up, like some sort of Grimdark Pacman.

Waka waka waka...

Stop that.

The highs and lows of this were stunning - when Von removed my Eradicators I genuinely felt that this was IT.  I had just lost and there was no point in continuing...  and then Kaine and his melee doomstack rocked up on the flank and suddenly Von felt the same. It was great fun, and I am so glad I didn't do the churlish thing and pack up after the Eradicators fell.  (and yes, that's how scared I am of the Monolith!)

This might be a tenth-in-general thing. It's not the first time in this blog's lifetime that one or both players have felt like packing it in after the first casualty. At first I put it down to Roath having Bolt Action brain and not realising how the initial forty shots from Necron Warriors might boil down to only one or two dead Marines if I'm lucky, but then it keeps happening to us too. I kept saying things like "it's a five turn game mate" and "points win prizes" for both of our benefit.

I've learned to actually pay attention to VPs more and not obsess so much on the state-of-board - this still seems counter intuitive to me, I'm apparently a visual player, but forcing myself to keep examining the VPs and who was controlling what objective marker is what ultimately secured my lead and won the game.   Now I just need to internalise that lesson and not bung it into the same mental bin full of arcane gibberish and brain goblins as the rest of the 10th ed rules.

 

Crusade

Also, we both came away with a bucket of XP. Not as much as I'd hoped (I was, after all, intending to win this), but enough to level up Azhad, Teznet and the Monolith. Garbutt will be levelling up Foehammer, the as-yet-unnamed Invictor, and his Assault Intercessors and Aggressors again - our first Battle-hardened squads. Space Marines really can run away with XP...

When you get XP just for turning up and EVEN MORE XP for not failing (or even taking) Battleshock tests, its very easy to power level.  I honestly don't see why you wouldn't always select Know No Fear as one of your agendas.

 

Nobody has any Battle Scars, and I burned my Requisition to remove the Mindless Reaper Scar from the Skorpekhs - I didn't realise they had re-rolls built in, so there isn't really an upside to keeping that Scar around, and Garbutt's pulling far enough ahead that I don't need to sandbag for Crusade Blessings.

 

We haven't picked the upgrades yet - it was eleven pm by the time we'd packed up, we were tired - but while we're talking about this, I want to dwell on the RPG elements of Crusade in general. 

God.  11pm.  What season is it?  What year?  Has Minas Morgul fallen into darkness again?  I need sleep. 

 

Leaving aside my side-eyeing of the Space Marines' extremely easy XP farming (3 XP for each unit that turns up and dies, assuming they pick Know No Fear and don't fail Battle-Shock - and not having to take a test means you haven't failed one), Crusade is a lot. Although the scenarios are a bit leaner than the Tempest/Matched card decks, with no constantly shifting Secondary Objectives to worry about and simpler scoring, the units gain a bunch of rules that aren't in the same place as their datacards, and - for me, at least - army level rules that have three different use cases to manage. I'm having to write out all my Crusade bennies in a notebook just so I've got them all in one place without having to click back and forth in two different apps to find out what a unit's got going on, and I'm tempted to find a pack of the official datacards and just write my Crusade crap onto them.

You and me both.  I think we both prepared cheat sheets of who had what abilities and upgrades before hand.

I am glad that Crusade exists. 40K needs a mode of play with asymmetric, story-driven scenarios and some continuity between encounters that has the same impact as one's strength of schedule at a tournament or the leader board of a club league... but I don't know if RPG elements are the right way to go about it. In a game where every unit has a special rule or two of its own, more if there are characters attached, more if those characters have Enhancements, there's already enough moving parts. 

When tenth edition launched, the issue of stratagem bloat was addressed with a "one in, one out" approach - your Detachment would only ever put six Stratagems on the table, on top of nine or so basic ones, rather than the thirty-odd that some armies had available in the previous edition. I think unit special rules might need a similar approach with Crusade, which doesn't take anything off the Datasheets to compensate for everything that it adds. Or, hear me out, maybe we could get past "gain experience, level up to get skills, and a goddamn crafting system" as our paradigm for storytelling games? I think the Awakened Systems and the Oathsworn Campaigns in our books are fine without adding Traits and Scars and Blackstone (which Garbutt and I haven't even touched) on top of that.

When both players are preparing notes and cheat sheets before a game in addition to, between us, two devices, three apps, and two rulebooks for backup, you have to ask yourself if perhaps rules bloat is occurring and maybe there are too many moving parts now.  But with that said, I love Crusade.  It's allowed me and Von to create something truly wonderful in the ongoing narrative of the Sworn and the Kavadah Dynasty.

I want to see where this goes next, how Kophekh The Shrouded (I was going to just put 'Kophekh' but Von threw a hissy fit and insisted I put some respect on the name) is going to respond to the humiliation of getting utterly kerb stomped by a mob of uncultured Astartes armed with little better than sharp sticks - damn primitives.  Kaine, on the other hand, is loving this.  Several games running now he's charged toward a Necron character only to get beaten back by bad dice rolls or the Necrons sheer refusal to just do the decent thing and DIE.  The narrative continues to evolve and my head is once again full of ideas for short fictions that I'll probably never get round to actually writing.

Oh, I already know how we'll be dealing with the insolent genehanced biomatter currently running around meddling with things they don't understand and potentially dooming this entire portion of the galaxy. And listen, it's not a hissy fit, it's just - how would you feel if Talassar Kaine was henceforth addressed as "Capito K-Drizzy, yo?"

A: Bring it, trash can. B: I'd laugh my arse off.