[Necromunda] Bad Heir Day (Shift 260207, M42)

 

History, they say, is written by the winners. As such, the only member of Bad Heir Day available for comment on this occasion was Buttons the Phelynx, found lurking in an outlet pipe south of Legal Acquisition, with blood on his paws and rage in his heart.

Deployment of servo-gauntlets and an automated middle-distance treat dispenser allowed your faithful newshound to extract the wayward cat-lizard-mutie-thing and return him to his rightful owners. 

This is not a game I am particularly inclined to fictionalise. My play was poor, and my conduct unacceptable - the tilt monster came out to roar again - and reflecting on the realities and how they came to pass is more important than making up stories. 

Smash & Grab as a scenario can go against the defender from the start: it has a big, swingy random crew roll that left me with five bodies against the Genestealers' eight. I don't blame the dice - that d6+3 is what it is - but I absolutely made a bad situation worse. 

Shown above are the good choices I made: Jakki Spring-Heels, my new Champion, and Pow-Pow (who can smuggle an extra fighter onto the field - he's only a little kitten!).

And here are the bad choices. A Death Maiden with no ranged weapons at all, a Juve with only short-ranged throwing knives and BS 5+, and a Sprint Champion who is built for speedy rush plays. I'm defending in this scenario. I definitely didn't choose all of these but I put Harri Karrion on the field and that was a Mistake.

It actually started out OK. Once Jakki had her eye in she sunk a bolter round into the Damp Stains' backfield Neophyte, Rhabytina Hat. Shivella did manage to hit someone with her throwing knives, and I'm not even mad that Nowyu Ceehim showed a fluke saving throw either. The sixes come and go for all who wait for them, or something.

However... well, Smokin' Jo repeated her exact performance from the previous encounter, i.e. she was set on fire, ran off a roof in a complete tizzy, seriously injured herself in the fall and ended up coup-de-graced by a passing enemy. Symm Saladbin repeated the performance on Shivella a turn later and took her out of action too. I'm so sick of Blaze. I might have to start buying hazard suits.

On the other flank, I badly misjudged Pow-Pow's range and lines of sight, and forfeited half her activation. After she was caught and seriously injured by the three-armed Pastor Nuffin Upmysleef, Buttons came yowling to her defence and bit the Pastor's familiar, Ardaz Naylz, right in the nadgy bits. Pity I mixed up "Injury" and "Lasting Injury" and over-egged what Toxin could do. It's good, but it's not that good.

Wavov Dewand here decided that violence against kittens was spiritually acceptable, but couldn't land a telling blow on Buttons.

And... this is where my photography peters out, because the rest of the game was not a good time.

My continuing inability to estimate distances really bit me in the botty here, with both Harri Karrion and Shivella attempting impossible charges and ending up in a state of having their ass handed to them at point blank range. Shivella was set on fire and coup-de-graced by the very cultist she'd been attempting to charge; Harri ran face first into Pika Card, the Aberrant, and...

... well, the last time I played this particular opponent, I was on the back foot the whole time and then had a fighter absolutely ripped apart by melee attacks I could do nothing to prevent or avoid. No saving throws, no parries, no nothing. And now it happened again. Insult to injury, it all had to be slow-rolled, so my Death Maiden got whittled down one unsaveable Flesh Wound at a time.

I don't hold anything against the Old Master, he's a lovely chap, but it was one loss of agency too many for me to process and I was, frankly, unpleasant to be around and ungracious in defeat.

I set myself up for failure in this game by bringing exactly the wrong crew members for a defensive engagement, and then basically threw the game away through an inability to gauge distances. The bits where we were rolling dice at each other and there was some back and forth? Lovely. The last two rounds, where all I got to do was fail charges, forfeit actions, remove casualties and resolve being on fire? Not so good. 

On the way home, I also realised I'd collected my mood stabilisers but hadn't actually taken them, which might have been a contributing factor. None of this excuses my extended strop, but now I understand where it came from.

Post-Battle 

The post-battle sequence wasn't exactly brilliant either. Only 40 credits and no free recruits from my Settlement and Fixer, so I went a bit larger on the Collapsed Dome than I should have done, and - doubles. No income, and Jakki Spring-Heels, the only survivor of today's engagement, was the ganger randomly selected for Lasting Injury. She's Enfeebled. Toughness 2. Of course she is. Jo didn't do much better, picking up a Head Wound for her trouble (it's all those times her mohawk's been set on fire). The other injuries, mercifully, were just KOs.

It's not all bad news, though. Apparently Evil Annie was out shopping while the girls were getting their business pushed in, and came back with toys for almost everyone. Stimm-slug stashes for herself and Shivella (we'll soon see about those charge distances) and a stiletto knife for Jenna VV (taking full advantage of the half-price gear available through the Synth Still). Two hotshot las-packs for the other two Gang Sisters - Avemaria and Evan Jellicle need to punch up if we're going to go after the Squats again next cycle. And finally, good drugs.

Noisette did sterling work on the d6x10 discounts, and was able to brew up two doses of "Little Miss Scare-All's Black #1" (Concentrated, Panicking) and one of "Tay-Tay's Extra Special Blend" (Bad Blood, Hyper, Night-Night). That last one's going straight on Harri so I can use her as a guided missile, with an extended 9-14" charge and a Toxin splash every time she takes a wound.

There were a few skill-up opportunities, too. Buttons the Phelynx gained a point of Strength, so he's now a genuine threat even if he doesn't get lucky and land a Toxin hit. Shivella gained an inch of movement - her injury, Lesson Learned, has taught her that to charge people you have to move fast.

Not sure if I'm going to issue a second challenge this cycle (although I'd quite like to have a go at this scenario as the attacker), but all this is going to come in very handy next month as, inevitably, I go Squat hunting. Those gits have my Narco Den. I wanted that.