[Year In Review] Life? Don't talk to me about life...

This year, I:

• entered my third year of chronic unemployment (I'm doing something about it, hopefully: renewing my education worker papers so I can go back to Further Education. classroom support. I don't know if I'm up to teaching again, just yet.)
• dealt with my second golf-ball-sized knee cyst in two years (this one was caught early and, following an extreme antibiotic/painkiller regime, seems to be sorting itself out in a more genteel way than the last. I also had my first ride in an ambulance!)
• declared War On Snacks as my immense bulk needs sorting out ten years ago and I'm not really up to hardcore exercise regimes. I won't deny that refusing all treats that aren't also hydration (hot chocolate is allowed, I need something nice when I'm on a downward swing) is doing me good, but I'm fast running out of vices.

Fortunately, there are toys.

January

An unexpected start to the year, as my glorious pharekh found a Necromunda gang in one of our local charity shops and... I owned Goliaths now. Mucking about putting these slabs of man-meat together put more wood on a slow burning fire from a couple of years before: the Necromunda bug hadn't fully bitten, but was definitely having a speculative nibble.

 

A start was made on the Hypercrypt Legion box, putting the new Overlord together. You can also just glimpse the Chronomancer off to the right. He wasn't from the box, but it turns out Ser James Workshop's habit of giving his loyal paypigs a ten quid voucher every year is good at squeezing a purchase out of me. 

First battle of the year against Kraken's Christmas jumper, and incidentally his Ultramarines as well. This was the one where I blindsided him with Starshatter Arsenal, not realising quite how pushed that new detachment was.

Kraken took his vengeance a week later with this extremely cramped and rather brutal pummelling of my Stupid Plane List.

There was a lot of unpainted terrain in these, and my resolution to do something about it was prickling.

February

I knew the Hypercrypt Legion box would have to last me for a while, so I eked out the process of assembly. It was nothing at all to do with me spending a good chunk of February playing BFG Armada II or anything. Beat the Necron campaign eventually. Got bored with the Chaos one. Fun fleet, but knowing how many sectors were still to go really took the wind out of me.

Kraken and I had been talking up Mordheim since about five minutes after we met, and he'd been quietly working away on a very nice set of terrain and putting together his OG Skaven plastics. This being a 40K blog, I didn't like to say anything, but we played two good solid games on this and my Undead didn't get rekt in the slightest.

We also performed an exchange of goods and services, in which I built a batch of his Orcs and Goblins for the Old World in return for this Leagues of Votann starter set. I had the best of intentions with these little men until I started exploring points values and realised there was no way I was collecting a second army on a jobseeker's budget, not in this economy.

Instead, I spent the last weekend of the month layering up terrain. The divine pharekh found tubes of Liquitex Heavy Body bronze and green in her stash, which were ideal for cranking out this long overdue glow up.

March

What better way to employ your newly completed terrain set than a) showing it up by putting a load of vinyl floor tiles on the table as area markers and b) being stomped in three rounds by one of your oldest and dearest friends? Garbutt and I closed out our first "season" of Crusade and my Necrons went home to finish reanimating their teeth.

Fortunately, the last game of the winter's club cycle went a little better. For me, anyway. Our newfound Alpharius, who couldn't pass a Dark Pacts test to save his life, may have felt differently. I haven't actually seen him since. Really should arrange a rematch.

More "off topic for this Warhammer 40,000 blog" gameplay occurred. Due to circumstances, my historical Vampire: the Masquerade game had been on hold for a few months, but we worked out how to get from there to here - here being a timeskip from 1198 to 1848 and a crash landing into the Victorian Age setting. I'm going on the record here as a V5 enthusiast: it's not perfect, and the corporate handling of its launch has been rough, but the innovations in how it plays make up for the dodgy bits.

 Finally, I laid hands on the Chaos Legionaries kit for Kill Team, which I'd been meaning to pick up for ages and ages. The spare bits from the Nemesis Claw set would Night Lord them up very nicely, giving me a second set of rules to play around with and the core of a new Chaos Space Marine force if I ever went there again.

April

 Didn't do much hobby this month, except for priming everything I'd built over the winter, but I did pick up a display case on the cheap thanks to the Office for National Statistics paying me to be interviewed. That was nice.

I'd end up compensating for this lack of activity in May, and then some. 

May

To start with, I painted up the first six bodies for my Nemesis Claw Kill Team. These are the only six bodies I have painted for either Chaos Space Marine Kill Team. It turns out that Night Lords colours over black primer are not fun, and these look so much uglier than the previous run I'd done over grey. That or I subconsciously felt I'd painted quite enough of these over the six years when I wasn't painting anything else. The sons of the sunless world are quite fun to play in the game, but my enthusiasm for painting them has absolutely deflated and they'll be going in the stripper or on sale quite soon.

I did paint a lot of Necrons, though. 

These Lychguard were painted over the week I spent moonlighting at Dragon Painter. A gaming community needs a good LGS to... connect people, give us all somewhere to go where someone knows everyone and can make introductions and bring people into groups that they might not otherwise have known existed. Third spaces are hugely important in this hobby (and for wellbeing and society in general, actually) and now that there is one near me, I am resolved to help it succeed.

That's why I was behind the counter for a week so boss-lady could take her crew to UK Games Expo. Seemed a shame to waste the half term trade purely because you can't be in two places at once.

I've also done a couple of Kill Team demos there, an experience eased by the starter set being a sound attempt at a video game tutorial in miniature form, and besmirched by my first, last and only outing with Ultramarines. I did win though. Courage and honour, or something?

June

More Necron painting in the Necron paint mines. I don't actually recall how I came by these Immortals or the Doomstalker lurking immediately behind them, making it impossible to compose a decent photo (not that the light's doing me any favours here either). 

Emboldened by this success, I moved on to my largest and most intimidating paint job since the Monolith: the C'tan Shard of the Void Dragon. I put more thought than usual into the composition of this paint job, to ensure it was both part of the army and visibly not a Necron. I think it's all worked out rather well.

Helping out at Dragon Painter put me in touch with new people, exactly as the LGS is supposed to. The system works! This was my first encounter with the Young Apprentice (I should be calling him the Young Master, really): fourteen going on forty-five, red hot in his pursuit of the most busted-good kill-pigging he can pull with any of his four armies, only slight oversights regarding his keywords, mission rules and objective game hold him back from glory.

  

 Our first encounter was this Necron-on-Necron action, in which I scored a draw largely because he seemed to forget that my Flayed Ones were hiding under a bridge picking up points every turn.

Hosting the Kill Team demos, meanwhile, introduced me to... the Old Master, that's what we shall call him for now. A veteran gamer, of Oldhammer and historical inclinations; a 3D printer enthusiast; and a proper gentleman who endured the sweltering heat of this summer to run his Kommando mob into my Nemesis Claw. Good clean game, although his superior grasp of the melee rules caused me a few problems. 

July

Too bloody warm. Entirely too bloody warm. I spent most of this month fighting off heat exhaustion. I did manage to put together these DIY terrain pieces though. At the time I was calling them mesas. I have now discovered that they are called buttes. 

This was also around the time that my 'Ard Case foam sustained entirely own-fault damage, because I was careless enough to leave it open when the Sacred Beast existed.

Other than that, a quiet month. I did meet up with Garbutt for an exchange of goods, though: the Canoptek Reanimator upon which he'd painted base details for me, the Hierotek Circle tokens he'd 3D printed for me, the paints I'd need to "finish" my Kill Team and start my Necromunda gangs, and this emotional support Scarab. I had some stuff for him, too. I forget what.

 

August

Young Apprentice had a hankering to run some demo games of full-fat 40K, not being a skirmish enthusiast, and so he had a demo kit to paint up. He wanted to start within a week. Despite his exuberance, dynamism and general oomph, he wasn't quite up to painting two Combat Patrols and a terrain set in four days, so I stepped up to do the scenery and half the Tyranids.

Another wrist-ruining exercise in scenery speed painting. See, these were plastic, and I thought "OK, I'll hand prime them, gesso's good for scenery and I need to use up this bottle." Then I gave them a heavy drybrush with the ol' Liquitex bronze, inspired by Kraken's Kill Team terrain, and it looked bobbins. So I picked out the gates and doors in whatever gunmetal I had to hand, the whole lot had a coat of Liquitex Carbon Black on top, and then I went over them all and painted the lights, consoles etc. in simple bold Formula P3 colours for a bit of visual spice.

They look good, but damn my hands were cramping afterwards. 

I also painted up these Tyranids, to the Young Master's specifications. I wasn't working with exactly the same paints, nor do I paint in exactly the same style, but they're more than a good enough match when they're on the board together and that's what matters. 

I also quite enjoyed them, which surprised me given that the last time I painted Tyranids I found it an utterly miserable experience. The difference, in this case, is Contrast. These were knocked out with Guilliman Flesh, Magus Purple, and Black Templar contrast paints, with a bit of Game Colour magenta ink and Blood for the Blood God to do the various visceras and organs. 

Oh, and it's a good thing I had that Reanimator back, because Young Apprentice and I also went to the Molten Crown doubles tournament. This was not entirely planned (on my part, anyway), and didn't go entirely our way. 

Shown above: my 1000 point Canoptek Court list, and one of the in-progress sandstone buttes for good measure and proper old-fashioned White Dwarf window dressing.

Shown below: us getting our clocks cleaned in the second of three absolute trouncings. This one was selected on the basis that our armies looked nicer and we put up a whole forty points between us.

 September

A quiet one for painting. I'd taken the opportunity to trade out the Votann set for two more Necromunda gangs (that might be how I ended up with the Doomstalker and Immortals, now that I think about it), and I started knocking around with test models and Contrast paint to see where things could go.

Also, five metal Wardancers found their way out of my spares box and into circulation. Club was about to spin up again, and we planned to spend the first three months of this cycle on a Mordheim campaign (simple round robin, get 'em played by Christmas), and the last three or four on a Necromunda campaign (which I've somehow ended up Arbitrating, probably because it was my idea).

Four games were played, and...

Hm.

 First up, the Young Apprentice's demo kit saw some use, with my Necrons roped in to play a couple of rounds of Combat Patrol. The first was a bit of a pubstomp as our trainee wasn't really... locked in, and I found the whole experience rather straining. The second was against the Young Apprentice's Custodes and it was very much a game of two halves. On one side of the board I picked up all three of his models, on the other all four of his models rampaged through all my infantry and cleaned up on their "win more" mission objective.

My enthusiasm for demo games in the market hall was running low at that point.

Next up was a tournament-style test game with my Hypercrypt Legion into Young Apprentice's Rubricae Phalanx. Now I don't want to blame the boy or the board for what happened, at the end of the day it's a dice game and misplays do happen, but the facts of the matter are this table was too deep and the sccnery too far apart, and fighting my way out of Rubric Jail while all my fun stuff was one-shot by a Knight Tyrant that also made my detachment rule a non-starter was not a good time. Neither was the Combat Patrol knockaround against his Votann either, which was so short and unceremonious an arse-kicking I didn't even bother writing about it.

My enthusiasm for 40K was running low at this point.

Finally, there was the inaugral outing for the Tomb World set for Kill Team, which I was only able to afford because Garbutt paid over the odds for the Deathwatch team and its sundry accessories. He's a proper gent, that one.

I took it round to the Old Master's house and, over a couple of hours, some fine bacon sandwiches, two rounds of tea and quality time with the dogs, he delivered such an arse-kicking that I wasn't sure I'd ever known how to play Kill Team in the first place. The final straw was fumbling through the melee mechanics only to discover that it was pointless because every weapon he was targeting me with that turn had Brutal and if I didn't roll crits nothing was real. Legionaries are just nasty. I think this is another reason why I've not bothered to paint mine.

My enthusiasm for wargaming in general wasn't even running low: it had keeled over and put its face in the dirt.

October

Never mind! Panic over! 

 Mordheim had a restorative effect on my soul. Yes, I lost both my games. Yes, my Elves spent most of the first one falling flat on their faces trying to somersault around like Legolas, which the Old Master blamed on the elven wine. They'd cracked the barrel because he was gearing up to trounce me with my own Undead warband.

The second game against Kraken's Skaven was... better until it was worse. Until three Elves were taken out of action in one round (the four slingers finally got into range, and I stopped rolling high for parry attempts). Two would miss the next game. The third has lost an arm, and can no longer wield his greatsword or fire his bow.

The thing is, you can't be cross when this happens in a GW skirmish game. That's what they're for. I didn't expect anything from this elf warband and to be honest, I'm not that surprised I struggle with them. Fast and fragile ain't really my thing (they say, lining up to run an Escher gang in Necromunda). That put me in a more positive frame of mind for 40K the week after. 

Molten Crown II was fun. I won a game. I enjoyed all three games and learned something from them. Every single one was a better performance than anything at the Doubles. I bought a ticket for Molten Crown III that night. We're so back.

In the aftermath, however, I lost my voice, gave myself RSI doing prep for an interview which did not pay off, developed a deep vein infection, lost the capacity to walk more than a handful of yards, and ended up rushed to hospital with an embolism scare. 

Painting up the Canoptek Circle while I was laid up made me feel much better about spending time and money on Tomb World, as did the Old Master kindly spotting me several half-dead cans of primer to get my terrain painting on a roll again. (He's a nice chap. Nothing that's transpired between us is his fault.)

I cranked these out before taking a trip to England. I needed to see a different set of four walls. My lovely, patient pharekh needed a couple of days off after carrying me through a fortnight of flesh-frailty. Garbutt had paid a lot of money for this Deathwatch team and I felt bad that he didn't have them yet, especially since he was off work for something like ten days.

So we did something about that. We played some Kill Team, to teach him the game and transition into the next phase of our Crusade, and did the necessary housekeeping on our Orders of Battle to address the bumbling and balls-ups from the first season. We also had a readthrough of the scenarios, but we haven't Posted about that, because I want him to Post about that and show some of it sunk in.

November

 As part of my "learn to sit and stand up again" rehab, I finished these buttes. They're big, forgiving, and had been sitting around half done for months.

In preparation for Molten Crown III, I built and painted another five Immortals. The Tesla unit performed very well last time, and doubling the size should double the impact, right?

A test game of Necromunda, round at Kraken's place: my Eschers against his Ironhead Squats. The bulk of materiel on this table was not painted, so I've decided to lean into the whole grey thing and pretend it's art.

Despite an utter tonking, the bug had finally bitten. The morning after, I was away on my jollies for a short break - something to do with my fortieth birthday being right there on the horizon - and I took the Necromunda gangs, Contrast paints and some old dying brushes away with me. Painting on the trains, and in the hotel while my insomnia and my beloved pharekh's insomnia changed shifts, broke the deadlock I'd been feeling with these.

December

At the last club meet of the year, I had just turned forty years old, and was playing a game that released when I was fourteen. This is fine. This is not giving me a Perspective at all. Mordheim, into Dwarfs, an opponent I have always loathed, and I was rolling up with three members of a five member warband, only one of whom boasted a weapon capable of wounding stunties reliably, and that struck last.

I think we can call this a "failed experiment." Nivara, my leader, is rubbish: blind in one eye and subject to Stupidity, she appears to have lobotomised herself falling off a building in every game. Yavathol, second wielder of the accursed greatsword, died of axe poisoning after striking last against a Dwarf engineer who, to be fair, I was warned about. Lorelai, my wizard, is missing an arm and has absolutely stuffed their one remaining hand.

The only light in the black is Hollena, the blondest of my three heroes, who made it out with three large chunks of wyrdstone stuffed in her leafy jodhpurs and may yet hire on a bunch of archers (I'm thinking metal Waywatchers) and return to the City of the Damned next season. Or I might swap to Possessed. Lovely T4 W2 Possessed. 

Molten Crown III! I recently put a whole raft of words into accounting for my experiences there, so I'll simply add that a tournament every couple of months, within walking distance, is helping me keep up the interest and energy during the fallow periods when club ain't interested and Garbutt ain't available. I do miss Crusade, and there are aspects of the tournament experience I will never entirely adopt, but I'm having my fun and that's what matters. 

The Eschers are done! Lingering in almost done for about two weeks while I worked out what it would take to finish them, but they have arrived at a state with which I am broadly happy. I might go back and attempt some more varied skin tones at some stage.

And finally, an unexpected Christmas Bonus! Once again, her divine highness the phaerkh of my core flux-fire brought to my attention a Bargain - a semi-local Poster who was selling off a large case (deep enough to fit a fully assembled Monolith inside) and a whole bunch of ready-to-go terrain. I bought this stuff the same day and, when I came to unbox and set it up, realised I now had a very fun and fitting Necromunda board...

Not at all bad for thirty quid. It's tempting me to repaint one set of my boards in a matching scheme, and have two 4' x 3' boards to set up at home. That would fit very tidily on the dining table, and it's not as if we use the full width of the 5' x 4' setup.

This will do very nicely for the Necromunda fun we have lined up for the rest of the club season - of which, more later. The Eschers are my go-to gang, which is why they were finished first. My plan for the Goliaths is "paint them up and have them on standby as a loaner" - and maybe swap into them myself next time around, especially since I've just had a revelation about how to not spend money on a Stimmer for them. My plan for the Van Saar is "keep trialling colour schemes until I find one I don't hate."

What Happens Next? 

I'm into the RTT groove now, seriously considering the season ticket. Molten Crown's first Narrative event is coming up next summer as well, and you know I'm going to be front and centre for that noise. One new unit has been acquired already, and I'm not averse to picking up a couple of extra anti-tank/point-control options at FLGS prices later in the year.

Garbutt and I will doubtless pick up our plod with Crusade at some point. My dude works in retail, and having worked Christmas in retail myself, I know what it does to a mind. Thus, I want to wrap this up on a note of thanks.

Earlier (i.e. sometime between three months and two years ago), someone said my Necrons and his Marines looked great together. It was this photo what inspired that remark, if you're interested: 

I wasn't sure how to take that at the time. Garbutt's a much more enthusiastic and effortful painter, whereas I don't relish painting for its own sake, and want to be playing, in the spectacle mode, in that blur of colour. 

But the blur is the point. That crisp, shiny candy apple red and high detail focus needs its murky bronze and muted violet and messy green counterpart to make sense, and the converse is also true. My Necrons are elevated by proximity to their counterparts, and never mind my misgivings about our styles not matching. They look toyetic and stark and a bit too bold because that's what I need: for it to be brighter, where I am, after years upon years of wanting it darker, and part of that is playing: dragging myself into the light.

At the end of the day, these are toys and the joy of them is playing with them with other people. They have their silly little names and stories, but all of that comes out of the dance: dice, divots, dingbat on the other side of the board. To paraphrase my icon M. John Harrison, meaning is a dance between writer and reader, and writing is written into existence once and read into existence every other time.

Of course inviting him to contribute to this bullshit was the correct thing to do. Of course the toys look good and cool and right together: they wouldn't have been done at all without each other's impetus. None of this means a goddamn thing without a co-participant, and that is both as it must be and as it should be.

Thanks, mate. I miss you. See you when you've survived the season.